12-18-2013, 12:23 PM
I think I used line breaks for pauses, most taking up the role of punctuation.
Two of the pauses, 4th to 5th line (listened... to the voices), 12th and 13th line (russet oil... that floats), last two lines (grief... over) are put there for control.
Do you think I should try to make more uniform stanzas, use punctuation instead and see how it turns out?
I was trying to get at the transition from child to adult in the way of drug use and experimentation, except in style of folklore or myth.
The taboo challenges us, compels us to break it. Then we might see why it was a taboo.
Two of the pauses, 4th to 5th line (listened... to the voices), 12th and 13th line (russet oil... that floats), last two lines (grief... over) are put there for control.
Do you think I should try to make more uniform stanzas, use punctuation instead and see how it turns out?
I was trying to get at the transition from child to adult in the way of drug use and experimentation, except in style of folklore or myth.
The taboo challenges us, compels us to break it. Then we might see why it was a taboo.