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Poem #2
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12-18-2013, 05:52 AM
I kind of like the middle (left out) stanza, because it does clarify things for the reader, even if it doesn't add much. I like the jasmine reference during the middle of winter...a reader knows it is perfume. I would leave out "on the streets" and "twice a day" though...they are unnecessary. We're getting somewhere with this. Keep plugging on.
mel. |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Poem #2 - by bena - 12-17-2013, 11:13 PM
RE: Poem #2 - by oxomiya - 12-17-2013, 11:25 PM
RE: Poem #2 - by rowens - 12-18-2013, 04:42 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by oxomiya - 12-18-2013, 05:01 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by rowens - 12-18-2013, 05:09 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by oxomiya - 12-18-2013, 05:33 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by rowens - 12-18-2013, 05:38 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by bena - 12-18-2013, 05:52 AM
RE: Poem #2 - by oxomiya - 12-18-2013, 05:58 AM
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