A'bao

[Clandestine]

What is the reason for the sporadic spacing throughout?

The black marsh consumes
they say

In youth we stood at the edge
and listened

to hear the voices of dead

A'bao was said to sleep there
submerged in fetid water

the old say he kidnaps the young
pulls all asunder
eats their hearts <--- This is all superb wording and such.
wears their bones
and excretes the russet oil

that floats ethereal in the marsh <--- +1 for ethereal usage
and burns pale blue fire <--- This is my main critique here. It's not bad or anything. It just feels as if it's missing that final kick, especially after the outstanding previous bit, if you know what I mean.

I've transgressed the law
tasting that odd surface bile
growing wide eyed in my stupor

dizzied by the shifting halls and
lurid shafts

I have met A'bao in the last house
seventeen feet under

he wore my eyes
and I stared at my own blindness
curled up in grief <---I really liked this whole ending. Imo, if anyone says it needs to change, that's rubbish. But again, that is my own, albeit unimportant, opinion! Great conclusion.

over my dismembered innocence.

I hope that wasn't too terrible for my first critique. I carefully chose which one to first review. I genuinely enjoyed reading this. Nice work.