Aunty Del lived here 1917-2013.Edit 2.1crow, true

[ellajam]

Oh, this will stick with me. A few thoughts on a first read:

I look to where she hung her plates; circles of her time in grime. Great opening, I'm in the room, she's gone
The empty spaces on the wall darkened as her days grew few. I'm not a fan of "her days grew few", and both L2 and L3 don't add anything for me yet
Gaps between each precious place got longer as her passion left.
The last I hooked on to its pin, a week ago, it left no sign.

I look to where she hung her plates; circles of her time in grime.
The last I hooked on to its pin, a week ago, it left no sign.

This sounds so much stronger to me.

Another birthday gift had joined the sad procession. We could tell
that no more Blacksmith, Basket Weaver, Flower Girl or Lambing Ewe,
Cheese Purveyor, Fresh Fish Seller, Cobbler, Hooper, Weave and Weft
would ever mean so much again… as once they did to Aunty Del.

Adelice Cansfield
1917-2013

I know I've screwed your rhyme scheme, sorry.