Beneath the Shadow Fall edit 1.01 true,beaufort, gilmored

[tectak]

I am not trying to be cute by criticizing one of your poem. Rather I was trying to see what a poem from an admin looked like, as I assume you guys, and girls, know what you're doing. I have read this over, thinking about it for over an hour now. These are just my thoughts as an average reader. I do hope I said at least one useful thing.

Hi gil,
You said many useful things in your crit but then lost some credibility by your expressed motive. The poetic ink blots of "admin" are not to be revered due to their assumed lofty source but like all work posted here...on their merit.
The mods on the site are of the same bloodstock as every other contributor!
To your crit. Those who know me know that I do not do complex or obscure. Over analysis of anyone's work will produce crit of similar content to yours. That is not to devalue it but to categorise it.
I am glad of your comments and pleased to see such in-depth crit. I very much like "anew". Credited. "Autumned", the poetically licensed conversion of a noun to an adjective, though an exceedingly common occurence, MUST be justified. In this case, the use if the descriptor is apposite...because this is an autumn poem and the etymology of autumn includes a strong reference to "drying up", which is one of the problems of old eyes!

autumn (n.)
late 14c., autumpne (modern form from 16c.), from Old French autumpne, automne (13c.), from Latin autumnus (also auctumnus, perhaps influenced by auctus "increase"), of unknown origin. Perhaps from Etruscan, but Tucker suggests a meaning "drying-up season" and a root in *auq- (which would suggest the form in -c- was the original) and compares archaic English sere-month "August."

I make no excuses for what enigmas you found in the piece but would confirm, from my lowly but aspirational perch, that I only rarely post a poem which has not spent many hours beneath my own critical gaze...however, I eat everything thrown to me. Thank you.
Best,
tectak

Good egg,
I look forward to your considered input.
Best,
tectak

You're most welcome for the crit. As for the "autumned" part, I was being a little bit of a smartass, I wouldn't of known it wasn't a word if it wasn't for spell-check. I write poetry/comments to reflect me: honest, simple, and more than a little quirky. I look forward to becoming a more active part of this forum, my sea legs are growing steady.