Boardwalks (edit #4.1)

[ellajam]

no rush, we're not going anywhere. I am going to read through your top-posted version a few times and see how it holds up.

(I might pant a few times to overcompensate)

I have read through it another 10 times and I really like it. If you need to use pant, maybe try it instead of burst - not that I think one is better, just that it might make an interesting change. i don't think you need to add anything and your current lines are good. Did you record an audio?

Not of the last edit, I put it aside a bit. Burst/pant is interesting, maybe I'll record both ways, decide and call it a day. Thanks, milo.