Entropy

Entropy

crow

The Minstrel’s Melody

Posts: 250
Threads: 85
Joined: Dec 2013

#19

12-11-2013, 11:07 AM

There's only one, so far as I can tell. It's in the first two lines, which are missing a verb. It was meant to be an isolated, stand-alone image, as a reflection of a meditative moment. You read the line twice, or just push through the confusion, and you land on the word "shocked." I was going for an effect, is the answer. Read aloud, I don't think it causes much problems, except for a nagging sense that something's incomplete, not right.

Anyway, that's what I was going for. Otherwise, and correct me if I'm wrong, it's error-free.

Maybe I could retitle it, "I'm staring at a . . ."?

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Messages In This Thread

Entropy - by crow - 12-09-2013, 09:44 AM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-09-2013, 12:20 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-09-2013, 01:54 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-10-2013, 08:41 AM

RE: Entropy - by milo - 12-10-2013, 09:42 AM

RE: Entropy - by ellajam - 12-10-2013, 10:03 AM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 12:43 PM

RE: Entropy - by milo - 12-10-2013, 12:54 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 01:35 PM

RE: Entropy - by milo - 12-10-2013, 01:40 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 01:42 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-10-2013, 02:03 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 02:20 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-10-2013, 02:20 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 03:12 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-10-2013, 03:14 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-10-2013, 03:27 PM

RE: Entropy - by bena - 12-11-2013, 05:26 AM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-11-2013, 11:07 AM

RE: Entropy - by bena - 12-13-2013, 02:29 AM

RE: Entropy - by milo - 12-16-2013, 01:12 AM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-15-2013, 09:47 AM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-18-2013, 02:06 PM

RE: Entropy - by lucentwavering - 12-19-2013, 08:28 AM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-19-2013, 01:22 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-19-2013, 01:58 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-19-2013, 02:08 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-19-2013, 02:38 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-19-2013, 03:01 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-19-2013, 04:06 PM

RE: Entropy - by trueenigma - 12-21-2013, 08:55 AM

RE: Entropy - by Leanne - 12-19-2013, 04:35 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-21-2013, 02:13 PM

RE: Entropy - by crow - 12-25-2013, 02:45 PM

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