When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come

When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come

HalfOpenArms Offline

Junior Member

Posts: 23
Threads: 6
Joined: Dec 2013

12-11-2013, 12:36 AM

The "ands" seem like meter padding. I think the sigh is a little too blunt: the reader knows how the narrator feels about the pollution by his tone. The original ending was much better.

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Messages In This Thread

When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by alatos - 12-09-2013, 01:46 PM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Speaktaboo - 12-09-2013, 02:16 PM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by M. Warrens - 12-09-2013, 10:33 PM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by HalfOpenArms - 12-09-2013, 10:59 PM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by alatos - 12-09-2013, 11:57 PM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by alatos - 12-11-2013, 12:18 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by FreeIt - 12-30-2013, 05:13 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by HalfOpenArms - 12-11-2013, 12:36 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by alatos - 12-11-2013, 01:59 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Farkas - 12-29-2013, 02:07 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Farkas - 12-29-2013, 03:46 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Bemh - 12-29-2013, 03:48 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Blake - 01-14-2014, 06:24 AM

RE: When Morning Winds Had Not Yet Come - by Mikeodial - 01-16-2014, 07:52 PM

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