12-10-2013, 01:11 PM
Just a quick edit to try out your suggestions, let me know what you think:
[The Futility of Lamentation]
Due to the harsh weather,
I'm stuck inside this morning
for longer than usual,
unbeknownst to the dogs
locked up in the basement.
Still, they whine and howl,
bemoaning their loneliness.
It strikes me that I, too, am naive
to lament the absence
of those who never truly departed.
I toyed with "and bemoan that they're alone," but that felt contrived and sing-songy to me. What do you think?
Thanks, everyone, for the helpful crit and kind words!
[The Futility of Lamentation]
Due to the harsh weather,
I'm stuck inside this morning
for longer than usual,
unbeknownst to the dogs
locked up in the basement.
Still, they whine and howl,
bemoaning their loneliness.
It strikes me that I, too, am naive
to lament the absence
of those who never truly departed.
I toyed with "and bemoan that they're alone," but that felt contrived and sing-songy to me. What do you think?
Thanks, everyone, for the helpful crit and kind words!