12-10-2013, 10:35 AM
There might be something happening, but I don't see it. A generic go through-cut could go:
Due to the harsh weather,
I'm stuck at home this morning
unbeknownst to the dogs
locked in the basement.
They weep and howl,
bemoaning their loneliness.
It strikes me as naive:
to lament the absence
of those still here.
It changed your tone and your meaning. But I liked it enough to play with it. Hopefully you got something better.
Due to the harsh weather,
I'm stuck at home this morning
unbeknownst to the dogs
locked in the basement.
They weep and howl,
bemoaning their loneliness.
It strikes me as naive:
to lament the absence
of those still here.
It changed your tone and your meaning. But I liked it enough to play with it. Hopefully you got something better.