12-10-2013, 09:59 AM
(12-10-2013, 07:32 AM)rowens Wrote: I like sloppy guitar the best, everything else bores me to death. Get you a second guitarist to throw in some little melodies, a rhythm section, and add an out of nowhere kind of bridge, and you're on your way.I'm completely with rowens on this one plus I don't like the sloppy guitar...could you try it without? I think the title is apposite.
Look, I'm no judge of this kind of thing so maybe just try it with just the guitar even and drop the lyrics. Hang on... better yet....
Seriously, it is very diffficult to mix poetry and pop. To make any impression you have to get the X-factor in both. Your chord sequences are dreadfully banal and combined with the mind numbing repetition of both chords and words it makes for a dire dirge. You do, though, have an underplayed voice...this does not do it justice.
Poetically speaking, there is not much to say but I want to know what "circle regrets all above" means.
Advice? Write more (or some) poetry and try X23434.
Best,
tectak