Entropy

[Leanne]

I definitely misspelled it. Thanks for the gentle revision.

I don't know the criteria for posting in the serious section, but haven't met them. Again, thanks. I take that as a vote of confidence

Just a couple more comments around the place and you'll be able to post wherever you like. This would indeed be good to workshop seriously. Your command of sonics is excellent, with assonance and chain rhymes to link the piece together. Some of your breaks and punctuation might be better revised, but the experimentation makes the poem interesting and it's obvious that there's a sense of deliberation about it rather than just accident. This is a poem worth dwelling on. The snake allusion is outstanding. Will come back to this.