[An Omen]

[ChristopherSea]

Greetings HOA, I see what you are trying to accomplish in this portrait of a storm, but this poem is written in a rather archaeic style and the syntax begins to fall off with the poem's progression. Line 3 reads strongest and I would bring it up as the opener with something like:

God's death rattle resounds across the firmament
marking it up in crimson streaks;
the remnant of some heavenly battle.

...tragedy's silence speaks volumes...

I am not certain of the meaning of the rest. You have another storm coming, yet silence speaking of some unknown tragedy. This coud be said with more clarity. Good luck with your next edits. Welcome to the site/Chris