Mangelwurzel (sonnet added w/ edit)

[ellajam]

No bandaloop poem yet, but here's a mangel-wurzel sonnet, inspired by a banana and a rutabaga. . All critiques welcomed.

A mangel-wurzel caught my eye,
the centerpiece at farmers' mart.
It called my name as I walked by
in early morning's light to start
my daily regiment of chores.
At each short break I'd start to dream
of crimson juice on slick tiled floors,
of roots cooked soft in scented steam,
Of hands stained red to signify
the bloody beast upon my plate.
But best laid plans have gone awry,
I've left the office far too late.
Farewell, sweet dreams of beet delight,
for dinner taters, blandly white.

it's pretty good.  The meter is spot on.  The double 'aye-aye' rhymes gave it a Spencerian feel.  I think you might want to reconsider line 2 and a comma after light.

L2 my bad, I thought of farmers market and pretended mart would pass. I'll come up with something else. I looked at the spencerian thread but thought the more involved rhyme might distract me from working on the meter. It looks like fun though, once I get my footing.

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From the NaPM April 4 2014 thread, prompt:write a poem inspired by a favorite book or story.


Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
(finally, a bandaloop poem for dale)

When I fear I've been sucked dry,
a crouton drifting in life soup,
my joie de vivre in short supply
I dance a rousing bandaloop.
Accordions play in my brain,
a tango mixed up with a polka--
at once the weight begins to drain,
no need for whiskey, pot or coca.
I push back chairs and roll the rug
to let my spirit skip and whoop
then pause to jump and jitterbug,
breathe out as lungs cry "Bandaloop!"
Dissolved, the bonds that ache and tether;
my heart as weightless as a feather.