Short Story: Merlin and the Dragon Queen chapter 7

[milo]

I thought this read well milo, and I liked the POV shift to Arthur. I'm enjoying the story, and want to see where it will take me.

Thanks, Todd. My first instinct was, of course to not shift POV but, with Merlin sleeping during the chapter, there were too many Zzz's.

My only real suggestion would be to break up that first paragraph some showing Arthur's actions to be struggling with the advice that he knows is good. Maybe have him break something, or show the attitudes Merlin warned him against only to bring himself under control.

i have noted my own tendency to not flesh things out properly and as much as i would love to attribute it to a poet's love for brevity, it is mostly laziness. This chapter was originally going to be from Tristan's POV and focus on the sacking of Londinium and Tristram taking the fort but that became a small paragraph due to my never ending laziness. i may go back some day (very unlikely scenario coming up) after I am done and add in some more meat, specifically with regard to descriptions. i can't help but note how prose writers include page after page of descriptions and i include almost none (!) i am going to take this piece of advice though, i enjoy the character development on Arthur.

Just some thoughts.

and valued as always.

Thanks.