12-03-2013, 05:12 AM
I thought this read well milo, and I liked the POV shift to Arthur. I'm enjoying the story, and want to see where it will take me.
My only real suggestion would be to break up that first paragraph some showing Arthur's actions to be struggling with the advice that he knows is good. Maybe have him break something, or show the attitudes Merlin warned him against only to bring himself under control.
Just some thoughts.
Best,
Todd
My only real suggestion would be to break up that first paragraph some showing Arthur's actions to be struggling with the advice that he knows is good. Maybe have him break something, or show the attitudes Merlin warned him against only to bring himself under control.
Just some thoughts.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson