"Grain of Salt"

[LanceRocks]

I've given up on promises
Making them. Keeping them. Believing them.
They're lies in sheep's clothing
To be digested with a mountain, not grain, of salt
With the sole purpose of convincing some child
That the world is brighter, safer than it is.
The promise, the primrose of hypocrisy!
Because no one is ever sure that something can and will happen
Beyond a reasonable doubt.
And if they say they're certain,
They're not interested in the truth.
Because the truth is,
Promises were made to be broken.

Your first two lines are excellent, but then you fall prey to various poetic maladies.

1. I am unalterably opposed to capitalizing every line for no reason. It's an antique convention which no longer holds.

2. Orwell's First Rule for effective writing is to never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. "Sheep's clothing" violates this advice.

3. The #1 Universal Guideline of creative writing is "Show, don't tell." When it comes to gauzy abstractions like "truth," the Guideline becomes an imperative.

I think you have a lot of promise because you have something to say and you are direct about it: no flowery language here, which is all to the good. The three precepts I've mentioned can be learned and implemented with time and practice. Great start!

Lance