Disposable

[Keith]

Hi Chris
I enjoyed reading your poem, I don't have much to offer by way of critique but I have made some minor comments that I hope will help. Best Keith


Todd/ellz edit 2

better with last two lines cut?

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed milk carton's missing child: I stumbled on this line could drop missing as we know because of the milk carton and crushed links with the next line.
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs as sole Forget-Me-Nots. Sole sounds a bit out of place as thongs is plural but it could be the flowers I'm not sure

Old tear-marked letters are now coffee stained
as the ink has run, but harsh words remain.

Moths ruined the linens that mom crocheted do you crochet linen ?
for festive spreads that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

-or-

Keep last two lines

I like the idea of closing on a recycling line as it fits nicely with the rest but the lines you have will need some work. Best Keith

Keith, Several of those edits are inline with others, so I will be considering them. Yes, you crochet with linnen thread. My grandmother and mom used them almost exclusively. I will find the original poem with those last two lines and repost them. Don't worry about the accicdental delete. Thanks!/Chris

Thanks Chris sorry for any hasle. Keith