Disposable

[Charlesjoseph]

Todd/ellz edit 2 : This edit cuts the last two lines. It could be better this way. Let me know!

Hey Chris,
Here's my two cents.
I think you need the last two lines or else to me it just seems like a series of couplets. Maybe you can rework the last two lines a bit to give it a clean, clear-cut finish. Also,


Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost (like yesterdays? or something to that effect.)

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed milk carton's missing child: (I feel like crushed breaks your rhythm perhaps another word or just an omission. I think it would work fine without it but your a better judge than I)
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs as sole Forget-Me-Nots. (again sole sticks out for me, maybe for Forget-Me-Nots)

Old tear-marked letters are now coffee stained
as the ink has run, but harsh words remain. (the ink may fade or the ink can run or whatever you believe is necessary it's your poem these are only suggestions)

Moths ruined the linens that mom crocheted (The moth ruined linens that mom crocheted)
for festive spreads that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds (coming out of your second couplet you used and the I liked that because it flowed nicely and i think something like that would work well here.)
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.


Hope this was more help than hinderance,
Chazz