11-27-2013, 05:44 AM
The rhyming is dreadful. I liked the first half of the poem, because it was funny, balanced comically on the word mayhem. But then it just went on and on, getting worse.
I like the length of the lines, but the rhyming doesn't work. Well, maybe the first two lines would work if the rest wasn't so horrible.
The best thing to do would be to write out what you want to say without rhyming.
I like the length of the lines, but the rhyming doesn't work. Well, maybe the first two lines would work if the rest wasn't so horrible.
The best thing to do would be to write out what you want to say without rhyming.