11-27-2013, 12:41 AM
I really liked this piece. The short couplet stanzas create a sense of brevity and matter-of-factness, which I think complements the content of the poem. The images presented in each stanza are painful to the point where even the author can only bear to spend a few words on them!
The poem has a nice meter to it, though I would like the very last stanza to have more impact. I didn't really understand what you were trying to say, and you might consider breaking the rhythm all together because it could help set those two very important lines apart from the rest of the work. Thematically, this poem reveals a dark truth about human nature which is little discussed. I appreciated the bluntness and lyrical harmony of this poem.
The poem has a nice meter to it, though I would like the very last stanza to have more impact. I didn't really understand what you were trying to say, and you might consider breaking the rhythm all together because it could help set those two very important lines apart from the rest of the work. Thematically, this poem reveals a dark truth about human nature which is little discussed. I appreciated the bluntness and lyrical harmony of this poem.