11-25-2013, 08:44 AM
The first two lines comprise a single sentence, but the next 10 lines do the same. You might want to consider breaking up that long second sentence. Also, it is a little difficult for me to picture a tree as an explosion of light. What kind of tree? There are many different specie and variety of tree.
Although, since you talk about it exploding, I'm thinking it is a canadian oak, perhaps? The second sentence has a strange metaphor, and I'm not sure exactly what it's trying to say.
Although, since you talk about it exploding, I'm thinking it is a canadian oak, perhaps? The second sentence has a strange metaphor, and I'm not sure exactly what it's trying to say.