In War and Pieces

[Keith]

I've placed this in Serious for a reason. I want to improve

Pieces rain like blood tattered confetti,
still remembering their names, their faces.
They're screaming through their exit wounds
I place barrel to temple, pull

I feel the first stanza would work better if it was inverted so the reader understands from the start what is going on, blood tattered sound off for some reason I thought of slaughter house but the image screaming through exit wound is excellent.

Only now have they finally ceased
they've reduced to a light chanting I would say they've is not needed
Watching me, touching me, stripping me could drop the first two me's
taking my soul, my resolve, drained. could swap taking for draining then drop 'drained'

They cannot take my purpose, survival.
Nor can I theirs, akin struggle. this line sounds off not sure why
Soldiers, all the Enemies I've killed.
Soldiers, all the Brothers I've lost.

although I enjoyed the bravado and boldness of this stanza you could try to work in some images perhaps on the line stumbled on ?

Washed ashore, relinquished from the Sea
that corralled Souls, eliminated our Conscience. I really like corralled souls but I'm not clear why this eliminates conscience.

I really like the clutter and desperation you manage to put over and the voice carries the poem well switching between stanzas, I would like to see a little more through images. Another stanza before the close could help me understand the close better, but that could just be me not getting it. I look forward to seeing your edit. Best Keith