Primal (new poem, Edit 3)

[Truerenigma]

For me, crumbling pretty much suggests column already but, seeing as we have a metaphorical bridge we get the erosion of the "support" of n's current ego. As people we are composed of memories, as the crumble, (the bridge between past and future) so does the support of the structure of our ego.

I hadn't really considered the /ego/ angle myself, but I like the way you're thinking.

Yah, maybe, but how is that related to /this/ poem. Seems like a red herring to me. Have we considered what metrically moving the caesura from before crumbling to before columns accomplishes? I feel it moves the emphasis from the crumbling to the column.

Isn't discussing a caesura before columns getting a little ahead of ourselves? It hasn't even made it into the poem! The author may leave it as it is, or come up with something far more interesting. It is a good point though, I would be interested in seeing what sort of effect it might have on the poem.