Primal (new poem, Edit 3)

[milo]

I actually prefer the word "support", it is a common enough term and gives the double meaning. As far as other words, it is tough to say without seeing them - column might work, though not as well as support, truss or cable wouldn't, neither would arch, span would be a great word to work into the poem but not as a substitute. Pillar might work as well but it would change the focus of the whole poem - it would immediately become important /who/ died where now it is not.

I suppose these things might be a matter of personal preference—it is hardly a technical issue. I was thinking column, tower, or pillar, but figured I would let the author decide. I just don't get an image or much to think about from support, but I suppose it is a more humanistic idea. Pillar would be more representative of an individual, but I like the idea of crumbling columns, which has a nice sound, a good image, and speaks more of a general breakdown in society, or just that all things eventually crumble over time, the proverbial hour glass, so to speak.

Yes it is up to the author but no reason not to discuss specific word usage in this poem in this thread.

For me, crumbling pretty much suggests column already but, seeing as we have a metaphorical bridge we get the erosion of the "support" of n's current ego. As people we are composed of memories, as the crumble, (the bridge between past and future) so does the support of the structure of our ego.

From column, I /only/ get column. So while the sonics and the imagery are better the total effect is weaker. IMO of course.

*note: I think column might be pretty good as well, I almost want to see the 2 next to each other.