Ripples Novel Chapter 8--Revision 1
#6
(11-23-2013, 11:56 PM)tigrflye Wrote:  "I don’t what this guy is, but he’s dressed like a vampire.”  - missing "know"

Another thought: when Shark thing or Shark face is used as a name, I think it should be capitalized.
I'm referring to "thing" and "face". Shark Face
You know, like Swamp Thing.
Of course sometimes you wrote "the shark thing" and then you wouldn't.

I like it a lot, Todd.
Now, poor Tyler has the darkness in him. .
And I wouldn't have thought about going under the ribs with the staff - good thought
-Jenn
Thanks Jenn, I'll make those fixes. I agree fully.

(11-24-2013, 12:09 AM)Charlesjoseph Wrote:  Cool todd,
Good luck with this!!! Narrative is hard work and mind bending at times.
cheers
Chazz
It's certainly both of those things. That's a reason I prefer poetry (short attention span).

I promise you plenty of pain for the characters, and while it will never be Ice 9 (just not good enough for that), they will suffer. More so inn edit I'm sure then on this run I'm sure. Smile

Chazz, I put a few of your changes in, and then stopped not because I disagree with them just that they are more structural than I want to deal with at the moment. I will go back over them later. Thanks again.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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Messages In This Thread
Ripples Novel Chapter 8--Revision 1 - by Todd - 11-23-2013, 10:08 PM
RE: Ripples Novel Chapter 8 - by Charlesjoseph - 11-23-2013, 11:44 PM
RE: Ripples Novel Chapter 8 - by tigrflye - 11-23-2013, 11:56 PM
RE: Ripples Novel Chapter 8 - by Todd - 11-24-2013, 12:13 AM
RE: Ripples Novel Chapter 8 - by Todd - 11-23-2013, 11:59 PM
RE: Ripples Novel Chapter 8 - by Charlesjoseph - 11-24-2013, 12:09 AM



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