11-23-2013, 05:49 AM
I'd be happier if the first and last stanzas fit the rhyme scheme.
Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "I Am sent me." Are you referring to God (I am that I am)? If so, that's pretty neat, but it might need a little clarification.
The first stanza says "unbinding" and the seventh says "nor will you bind me". Maybe a bit redundant.
Besides my merciless nitpicking, I really liked it. Thanks for the read
Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "I Am sent me." Are you referring to God (I am that I am)? If so, that's pretty neat, but it might need a little clarification.
The first stanza says "unbinding" and the seventh says "nor will you bind me". Maybe a bit redundant.
Besides my merciless nitpicking, I really liked it. Thanks for the read
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!