Ice Aged

[cidermaid]

Hi Chris,
like the subject choice and the images you offer but i did have a few issues with word choices and syntax.
I'm a bit short on time but will offer what i can and perhaps be able to come back later today.

The title is a bit too much of tell for me but is Ok and does a job.

Water frozen since the Pleistocene
appears to flow unobtrusively, I like the time placement and the use of unobtrusively here. I think it gives a good solid grounding to the poem subject and sets the pace of the read nicely.
yet Cro-Magnon dreams Don't like the use of yet to start this line and even more so when it is read in conjunction with the whole sentance.
and Neanderthal labors have eroded,
strewn as glacial drumlin.
Taken as a whole sentance i realy like the image you have here but think you need a total rethink of how you have set it out. Drumlin is a great word and gives me lots of images - I get a tear shaped deposit that makes me think the glacier is weeping and in doing so the gritty deposit is washed out and left behind. Don't know if you need to tell me it is a glacial drimlin - is there any other sort of drumlin? (question rather than statement).
I have seen you do this for others so hopefuly this will not cause offence here:-
Water frozen since the Pleistocene
appears to flow unobtrusively;
Cro-Magnon dreams
and Neanderthal labors,
are eroded into drumlin
burial mounds.

burial mounds might not be right either , but just showing where your images take me


The ice bears careless Hominids, Did you mean bares here? I know you might have been going for a double meaning here on Ice bears as in the the polar variety (or even the ice hockey team). Just a bit of ambiguity here in meaning I was not sure of and made me pause in the read to try and sort out. Did you want bare- as in expose.. or bear as in carry?
disabled Mastodons
and overzealous Dire Wolves,
now frozen TV-dinners
for psychopathic sharks
that have not yet evolved. Love the image here - made me smile

Metamorphic bedrocks groan,
as advancing icy teeth
chomp at the sea,
then calve into brine. Nice

Illuminated on clear nights,
the ice glows pale blue
in the obsidian waves.
Exhaling fog, it deliquesces, I have the same sort of issues with this last sentance as i did with the one in the first stanza. (and for similar reasons) Really like the images, but the way you have set it out feel strained.
releasing ancient secrets
and delicacies
to inhabitants of the abyss.

Sorry for the lack of depth - have to go now.
Hope these brief comments might be helpful.
All the best AJ.