I'm Going to Your Mother's House...

[Truerenigma]

        It was the day birds died,
        the day of departure.

        Seeing you knelt on our bed, I think the verb (kneel) would be stronger than the adjective here. I don't even like the word. knelt. It's awful.
        trussed like pig on a stick
        taking it boy scout style;
        gave me an erection.

        I was embarrassed.

        Why not a Shirley Temple lie
        while licking a lollipop?
        It would have been sweeter
        than grunts of infidelity.

        I could have pretended.

        The twelve bore, as snug You should perhaps have a hyphen between twelve and bore.
        as Harry's hairy bollocks,
        lay asleep behind its blued-steel door.
        Your bore was less safe.
        Harold was a 90's dose master,
        the one,
        the only eternal crab carrier.

        I woke the sleeping weapon
        blasted your two poodles;
        one barrel per parody.

And departed.

---

minor edit with thanks to those who gave feedback.

original;
I'm Going to Your Mother's House...


        It was the day birds died,
        the day you, me, us departed.

        Seeing you knelt on our bed
        trussed like pig on a stick
        taking it boy scout style;
        gave me an erection.

        I was embarrassed.

        Why not a Shirley Temple lie
        while licking a lollipop?
        It would have been much sweeter
        than grunts of infidelity.

        I could have pretended.

        The twelve bore was as snug
        as Harry's hairy bollocks,
        lay asleep behind its blued-steel door
        your bore was less safe.
        Harold was a 90's dose master,
        the one,
        the only eternal crab.

        I woke the sleeping weapon
        blasted your two poodles;
        one barrel per parody.

And departed.

---

i used departed at the end in the hope of hooking back to the start, not sure if it works.

That's all I've got. I like the poem. For me the hook works like you'd hoped. It's a bit on the confessional side but you've got some great, original lines in here, like the "Shirley Temple lie.."

I commend you for employing the shotgun, I've been trying to get it to work for a long time now. . .