Film Noir

[heslopian]

todd/brendan edit 3 Thank you!

Film Noir

It’s raining calicos and bulldogs; Excellent first line; nicely satirical, and with a weird edge that resembles Raymond Chandler's metaphors.
amber lamps pinstripe Great use of noun as verb.
the murk as a dark sedan veers
down the private drive.
A leggy dame hops out of the boiler, "boiler"? Is this slang for a type of car?
her stilettos stabbing asphalt.

It was 2 am. The doll
crosses the foyer then lingers.
She’s soaked
in allure; Another good subversion of a word to fit another purpose. cagey under platinum
locks and gray fedora.
Her sodden trench coat drips
off precarious contours
into eager paws. Whose paws?

Dutch takes the plunge,
head-first,
into calamity.

”Make us a drink, darling,”
the bird tweets,
with absolutely no interest
in dipping her bill.

Pale gams swing heels,
full hips sashay staircase.
Languidly, she slides
a derringer from her garter.

The syntax in this one is exquisite. Though it can sometimes slide into abstraction, overall it's deliciously idiosyncratic and complex. I love noir, and this poem captures its language and scenery well. Thank you for the read