Film Noir

Film Noir

Todd Offline

Empty Suit

Posts: 2,359
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

#11

11-20-2013, 09:39 PM

Stabbing is great. I love the edit.

You might consider replacing precarious with dangerous. You have a lot of nice D sounds, and the word feels more right to me with the speaker for some reason.

Again, minor point. Great poem.

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson

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Messages In This Thread

Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-19-2013, 10:40 PM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-19-2013, 10:59 PM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-19-2013, 11:10 PM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-20-2013, 01:25 AM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-20-2013, 02:15 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-20-2013, 04:34 AM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-20-2013, 04:40 AM

RE: Film Noir - by SirBrendan - 11-20-2013, 05:07 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-20-2013, 06:15 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-20-2013, 07:41 PM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-20-2013, 09:39 PM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-21-2013, 01:23 AM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-21-2013, 01:32 AM

RE: Film Noir - by heslopian - 11-21-2013, 01:33 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-21-2013, 01:34 AM

RE: Film Noir - by heslopian - 11-21-2013, 02:39 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-21-2013, 06:11 AM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-21-2013, 06:28 AM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-21-2013, 09:44 PM

RE: Film Noir - by Todd - 11-21-2013, 09:54 PM

RE: Film Noir - by ChristopherSea - 11-21-2013, 10:09 PM

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