Boardwalks (edit #4.1)
#18
(11-14-2013, 10:57 PM)ellajam Wrote:  Drift along the shoreline's ghost
paths; count the feet that rutted
the splintered gray slats,
the bicycles pedaled
as mornings' rolling light set fire
to the curves of early tides.

Hear the dogs' yap and pant
bursting through their freedom run;
the murmur of old friends
that fill long days as the horizon
glitters before them, reflected
in storefronts (now shuttered) behind.

Absorb the empty spaces
where the lucky lived; buried
lawns scattered with debris
and what were memories
still wait (twelve months shredded)
for their autumn rakes.


I'm not sure I'm settled on this. Any suggestions, particularly on punctuation changes, are of course welcomed. I keep adding the "the"s then cutting them again. Help please.Big Grin
Well, I can't upload it the way I normally do. Here is the file, I will see if I can't figure something else out.

<script type="text/javascript" src="newaudioplayer.js"></script>
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Messages In This Thread
Boardwalks (edit #4.1) - by ellajam - 11-14-2013, 10:57 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by Charlesjoseph - 11-14-2013, 11:51 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-15-2013, 12:17 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ChristopherSea - 11-15-2013, 01:17 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-15-2013, 01:57 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ChristopherSea - 11-15-2013, 02:13 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-15-2013, 04:15 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by SirBrendan - 11-15-2013, 03:02 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-15-2013, 03:23 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by SirBrendan - 11-15-2013, 04:02 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ChristopherSea - 11-15-2013, 09:14 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-19-2013, 01:16 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-19-2013, 01:23 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-19-2013, 01:40 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-19-2013, 02:00 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by trueenigma - 11-19-2013, 02:24 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-19-2013, 10:03 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-20-2013, 01:34 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-20-2013, 07:36 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-20-2013, 11:46 PM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-21-2013, 12:19 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-21-2013, 05:20 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-21-2013, 06:58 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-21-2013, 07:31 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-21-2013, 09:06 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-28-2013, 01:36 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-28-2013, 01:47 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by milo - 11-28-2013, 01:54 AM
RE: Boardwalks - by ellajam - 11-28-2013, 01:57 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by milo - 11-28-2013, 02:00 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by ellajam - 11-28-2013, 02:07 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by milo - 11-28-2013, 02:11 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by ellajam - 11-28-2013, 02:24 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by milo - 11-28-2013, 10:44 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by ellajam - 11-30-2013, 12:15 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by trueenigma - 11-30-2013, 03:43 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by ellajam - 11-30-2013, 09:58 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by trueenigma - 12-01-2013, 01:18 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by ellajam - 12-01-2013, 01:23 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #1) - by LanceRocks - 12-01-2013, 02:40 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-01-2013, 06:08 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by 71degrees - 12-01-2013, 09:21 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-01-2013, 08:49 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by trueenigma - 12-01-2013, 11:50 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 10:59 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-11-2013, 11:13 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 11:26 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-11-2013, 11:27 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 11:39 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-11-2013, 11:44 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 11:47 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-11-2013, 11:55 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 12:04 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-11-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by trueenigma - 12-11-2013, 12:06 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-11-2013, 12:22 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-12-2013, 06:06 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-12-2013, 07:30 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by milo - 12-12-2013, 07:35 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-12-2013, 12:40 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by trueenigma - 12-12-2013, 02:01 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-12-2013, 10:31 PM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by bena - 12-15-2013, 07:45 AM
RE: Boardwalks (edit #2) - by ellajam - 12-15-2013, 08:28 AM



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