Neglect

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for the criticism.

I agree with you on all points; they are very helpful - thank you very much for taking the time to examine my lines.

Particularly the idea of taking each line and writing a bit about it to see what I am really trying to convey is quite helpful.

I promise I am only moderately discouraged! Thank you again, and I look forward to working with you in the future.

Cheers,
Polar Bear