Okay this may not get you there, and I don't want to be too leading with a suggestion, in the myth what caused the problems were Psyche's sisters were overcome with envy. I notice that envy has a similar sound, and may be a suitable thing to think on.
You know I can't make envy work yet with the lines you have following. I think I like the you lead in on the line I have issues with more than the I. The you just has a softer transition to my ear.
I'm rambling. I'll give it some more thought.
Okay, thinking out loud here. The revelation of Psyche occurred when she saw cupid, and accidentally was nicked by one of his arrows. So, in some ways assuming L3 is from the Psyche perspective. The love that happened was psyche exploding in passion for cupid. You've reversed the roles.
That's fine, but it may present some opportunities for the line.
You know I can't make envy work yet with the lines you have following. I think I like the you lead in on the line I have issues with more than the I. The you just has a softer transition to my ear.
I'm rambling. I'll give it some more thought.
Okay, thinking out loud here. The revelation of Psyche occurred when she saw cupid, and accidentally was nicked by one of his arrows. So, in some ways assuming L3 is from the Psyche perspective. The love that happened was psyche exploding in passion for cupid. You've reversed the roles.
That's fine, but it may present some opportunities for the line.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson