The Thrill

[milo]

I think you should consider another title, thrill feels a bit "telly" to me.

I can’t think of anything more picture perfect
Watching a sunrise with friends
When nights turn into early mornings.

"Picture perfect" is a cliche. "I can't think of anything" is prosaic and inefficient. Just say it, we know it is your narrator thinking it - "There is nothing . . ." I don't think you need to explain "sunrise", anyone that is reading this surely knows that sunrise is when "nights turn into early mornings"

Drinking the poison until you’re practically preaching
Your philosophy to nobody and everybody

Once again, "practically" adds nothing. Actually, even "poison" weakens the whole. It could just be:

Drinking until you preach
philosophy to nobody and everybody

I love the thrill
Of puking my guts out

"puking my guts out" is a cliche as well

Onto a piece of paper
Pen in hand, like a pistol

"Between my finger and my thumb
the squat pen rests, snug as a gun" - Heaney

Trying to pump out a poem
Like my life depends on it

And when my head finally hits the pillow
It is practically dawn

I don't understand how it can be practically dawn now when sunrise occurred before the puking and writing (?)

Thanks for posting. Good luck!