We may have been in love that time

[Todd]

Hi Cloudy,

Better title, and the edit improves the poem. Some comments below:

edit 1, thanks AJ, tectak and lucent

We may have been in love that time

We splashed in storm gutters under rainbows.
Our minds conspired, giggles hunched in corners,--You don't need our minds
Flashing conversation spilled out and over,
all walls were breached, our ditches flooded.
Puddled reflections showed different breeds
too alike to wade in deeper-- our stars did not align--cut the cliche, perhaps
that night. I kept my head, but lost yours--This phrasing is not quite tweaking the original enough to make it work for me
once the ripples we created caught up
and shattered tainted calm.

What I didn't comment on I like. I think you did a good job extending the imagery throughout the poem.

Just thoughts.

Best,

Todd