Wet Knife (Revision)
#8
(11-12-2013, 06:23 AM)Todd Wrote:  Revision

You mistake it for a flower.
A thorn near the heart.
A lover's bouquet streaming
limpid petals upon your fingers tips.

This is an interesting piece of work. I revised your revision to show my thoughts.
Yes, quite a tight little bundle of sparkle.
Thanks for posting it.


~~~

Original

You mistake it for a flower,
with a thorn near the heart,
a lover's bouquet streaming
through your fingertips
in silent petals.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Wet Knife (Revision) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 06:23 AM
RE: Wet Knife - by heslopian - 11-12-2013, 01:51 PM
RE: Wet Knife - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 07:57 PM
RE: Wet Knife - by Euan - 11-12-2013, 07:59 PM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 08:08 PM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Euan - 11-12-2013, 08:22 PM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 08:26 PM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Nick - 11-13-2013, 05:00 AM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by ChristopherSea - 11-13-2013, 05:40 AM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Todd - 11-13-2013, 08:13 AM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Stephanie - 11-13-2013, 11:02 PM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Todd - 11-14-2013, 07:45 AM
RE: Wet Knife (Revision) - by Stephanie - 11-14-2013, 05:26 PM



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