11-12-2013, 08:52 PM
I speak to my self (myself - what do you speak about?)
knowing that the zombies (I would leave out "the")
are just like everybody else
I sit quietly observing
the people surrounding me
not knowing (I'm not sure what you are not knowing)
sickened by evil
who am i to turn to
i hate the deceitful (are the deceitful the zombies?)
realizing that i am my own pupil
I found my savior (does this mean that you and the savior are one?)
and in returned showed me to his people
for I was never truly alone
I had God (Is this the god of the zombies, too?)
Goodbye evil
(think carefully about what you want to say to your reader and then try to make that a little clearer. I think getting a particular message across is very difficult. There is of course room for subjective interpretation but this may be a bit too loose. Will look for edited version! Thanks) Would have written edit suggestions in bold but can't figure out how to do it
knowing that the zombies (I would leave out "the")
are just like everybody else
I sit quietly observing
the people surrounding me
not knowing (I'm not sure what you are not knowing)
sickened by evil
who am i to turn to
i hate the deceitful (are the deceitful the zombies?)
realizing that i am my own pupil
I found my savior (does this mean that you and the savior are one?)
and in returned showed me to his people
for I was never truly alone
I had God (Is this the god of the zombies, too?)
Goodbye evil
(think carefully about what you want to say to your reader and then try to make that a little clearer. I think getting a particular message across is very difficult. There is of course room for subjective interpretation but this may be a bit too loose. Will look for edited version! Thanks) Would have written edit suggestions in bold but can't figure out how to do it