11-09-2013, 10:17 PM
This: "I lost it all, in grayed caves" is a stunning line, IMO.
That line is like a thick vein carrying the rest. I get the
real feeling of being stuck in the grey penumbra and not being
able to see which side the black is coming from.
I keep reading this without those last two lines, feels like
those two are just hanging off the bottom by a hair-
waiting to be trimmed.
That line is like a thick vein carrying the rest. I get the
real feeling of being stuck in the grey penumbra and not being
able to see which side the black is coming from.
I keep reading this without those last two lines, feels like
those two are just hanging off the bottom by a hair-
waiting to be trimmed.