Until Him

[billy]

the actual words are good but i do have a problem. is she leaving the father or the lover. i'm sure it's the lover but the transition from dad to cad could maybe use an extra line to make it more clear. the title does it's job but could maybe do with that extra line.
other than that it's just an odd nit. i do think if you broke the block of the poem up with line spacing at the --'s it might add something.

there's a sadness and an underlying strength in the poem that makes for a good read. thanks for posting it

She never cried
into her father’s shoulders, i like the image here, onto would be expected by some but into creates the better picture.
tears staining the Oxford shirt,
or ached to ache inside, had to be read a couple of times to make sure i got it right. but it works.
from loving long and hard.
He was the sand
she could never keep
in her hands at the beach,
escaping between fingers.
His words like paper-cuts-- wondering if a line space would help here.
I’m not going with you;
I don’t love you enough for that
--sting salty with each load
she packs into her car.
Her rearview obscured, is rearview an Americanism?
she has no reason to look back.
I’m not going with you;
I don’t love you enough for that.