11-09-2013, 06:32 AM
I think it starts to come alive briefly with:
Wanting what'd be his in heaven
Hunger flaring, all he'd ask,
would be for painted poles and ribbons
ponies prancing on the lawn.
I added the 'for', but some might not think you need it. And what do you think about the punctuation in the poem?
I wrote that before you added to your reply.
The first stanza isn't very easy to follow.
Why do you say: For purple pockets filled with pebbles?
Wanting what'd be his in heaven
Hunger flaring, all he'd ask,
would be for painted poles and ribbons
ponies prancing on the lawn.
I added the 'for', but some might not think you need it. And what do you think about the punctuation in the poem?
I wrote that before you added to your reply.
The first stanza isn't very easy to follow.
Why do you say: For purple pockets filled with pebbles?