Lords of the Trees

[ChristopherSea]

Hi Christopher, I like this poem a lot, It caught my attention with it's title and I think you've written a fine short piece on a sweet topic; KIds with their secreted hide-away. I agree that you could improve this with better word choices.
We built a tree house
for our clandestine club; secret?
convened in dense limbs concealed? unbeknownst from below. unseen?
A guardian watchtower
to espy invaders of yards spy
within their boudoirs. inside

granted this simplifies it but seems fitting for kids. jmo.

You could expound on the invasion of privacy of the young girls.

I love the boyish tone of this, good job.
Heart

hi cris/heart,
I do not normally hijack threads but heart has the hammer that hits the nail. You should be careful of wordiness in context...and moreso out of it. There is nothing wrong with simple. I note your edit. Now I can resonate...I don't do much of that these days but any piece which by its inherent simplicity can move me deserves simple praise. Unbeknownst!....sheesh!
Best, tectak

Thanks boss! It's been edited. I may extend it as well. Cheers/Chris