Whiskey Epiphany (revised)

[Keith]

Whiskey Epiphany (3rd revision)

Like cactus for the shaman,
I have found a way to rattle my soul.

And although I feel like a tree
That has been hollowed out into a canoe
I have acquired screaming spirit wisdom
from the excavated pulp of my endeavor.

Naked on the bathroom floor,
Covered in my own fluids, I uncovered
A man afraid to die

Thank you Todd and Stephanie for your posts.
Chazz

Wow Chazz this edit really shows off the poem and the benefits of work-shopping, I think you have done a great job on this, it has strong images, its concise and packs a powerful punch in that the first step is to acknowledge there's a problem.

I would do one small final edit to tidy up the punctuation and use of capitals but I can only say this because I make the same type of errors constantly. Best Keith