11-05-2013, 10:21 PM
[quote='Graystar' pid='146184' dateline='1383633334']
Hey grey star,
This is just my opinion of course, but i think you should cut this in half to remove redundancy. Try to simplify it as much as possible to get down to the meat. Be clever by accident, don't force it. Also you wrote (pain is friend and foe) Pain is not a friend anywhere here that i can see. Well, That's my two cent's hope i didn't offend you because the material seems case sensitive.
Cheers,
Chazz
Hey grey star,
This is just my opinion of course, but i think you should cut this in half to remove redundancy. Try to simplify it as much as possible to get down to the meat. Be clever by accident, don't force it. Also you wrote (pain is friend and foe) Pain is not a friend anywhere here that i can see. Well, That's my two cent's hope i didn't offend you because the material seems case sensitive.
Cheers,
Chazz