Out of the Hollow

[ChristopherSea]

It's funny that Ella mentioned cutting. I'd been thinking about that, but wasn't sure where I came down on the issue. Well, if this were mine here's what would remain:

My vibrant drum
is but a stump
devoid of its cavity.

Your sweet flute
is merely a stick
without a cylindrical bore.

why should we
have any longings
for things we don't possess?

~~~
That feels interesting and thought provoking. I would cut the stanza's below:


If music can burgeon
from within these voids
and fill our emptiness,--This feels completely handled by the next question. I also am not a fan of "within these voids". It just feels unnecessary.

Let us fill the vacuum of desire
with the wealth of music.--vacuum of desire and wealth of music feel a bit too constructed, and draw me away from what you've already accomplished with the question.

Just some thoughts

Hi Todd, as I mention to Ella, I had versions with more brevity, but a previous Tao poem posted on site failed to educate the reader on basic principles. Perhaps I tried to do so more than what was needed, thereby over compensating. I shall consider that upon editing. However, I feel that you have deleted the wrong stanza. There's no tie in to having fulfillment coming from nothingness verses material want or wealth with that particular edit. Nonetheless, I shall take enother look. Thanks!/Chris

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[b]Ella/Todd edit 1 posted. No line cutting yet, but I took into consideration some wording and structure comments. Much obliged folks!