Simon in the Land of Chalk Outlines (Revision 3)

[milo]

Revision 3

The chalk lines shivered as they grew;
this world of slate, dark and sublime
because the things I draw come true.

There was a girl I drew
with silken hands we shared our mime.
The chalk lines shivered as they grew,

I dropped the chalk, too soon withdrew—
no ladder left to climb,
because the things I draw come true.

I made one, then she made two:
a village rose from grime.
The chalk lines shivered as they grew

to serve a god with worship due.
Amidst the chants, the bells still chime
because the things I draw come true.

On this slate, I start anew,
erase the details of my crime.
The chalk lines shivered as they grew,
the things I draw come true.

I was just fiddling around here, I didn't really feel like explaining why I didn't care for certain parts but, rather offer a couple suggestions in a fly-by edit.

Take what you will, leave the rest.