Break dawn, break light.

[Truerenigma]

If I could get some critique on this, I'd appreciate it.
Do your thing, as you do it so well.

- Break dawn, break light (Considering title change)

He dies
again and again

Playing out; set on repeat
phases fade through
bleak,
lost to an overcast sky.
Mist settles above the stillness
and lisps the water's edge.
Its harmony gracing
the ever dull,
moon lit sands.

I thought I'd escape
just for a little while.
Drink
and sing
to drown him out.

Not here,
no.
Here, it is worse.
The screams are louder.

I remember her jagged edge,
rigid
and cruel.
Twisting into her
forced attempt to comfort
Hardly eager,
to pierce shredded skin again.

Her,
were she to kiss me again,
to have another taste
without doubt, she'd bleed me dry.

Here, lisps cusp.
Sent, hovering
a mirage;
no longer still,
lightly placed to the sand.

Break dawn,
I too, fade.

Hello, I don't have time to wade through all of this. There are numerous problems with the punctuation; in some areas you have too much, and in others not enough.

I don't see much here for the reader. It is melodramatic, abstract prose. Work on your imagery, and try to find concrete images. The "phases fading through bleak" abstraction was probably the worst part for me.