Polishing Silver

[Truerenigma]

V. 3

Until father noticed the scratch
while hosing down the car, our rags
pulled and took water from bowls
mother filled with special soap.

She must have seen us from the window
while she baked her sweet potatoes
and we threw gravel in the yard.
What else could explain the cloth

and piles of silverware, all splayed
across the uncovered table
for us to come inside and find
as instincts looked for spots to hide?

Everything was tarnished; forks
and knives, the spoons we use to serve,
our faces when given the chore,
the pause before a father's words.







V. 2 adjusted first and last stanzas most heavily

Polishing Silver



Under mother's watch, we grasp
two bowls of water, two stained rags,
while father goes to wash the car
and find the scratch on the rear door.

He hasn't learned we threw the rock,
ran inside and begged to help
mother bake her sweet potatoes.
She must have seen us out the window

as we threw gravel in the yard.
What else could explain the cloth
and piles of silverware, all splayed
across the uncovered table?

Everything is tarnished; knives
and forks, the spoons we use to serve,
our faces when given the chore,
our hands. Everything is tarnished.






V. 1

Under mother's order, we grasp
rags tighter than father pressed
his lips when he found a stone
had sunk into his Chevelle's door.

He hasn't learned we threw the rock,
ran inside and begged to help
mother bake her sweet potatoes.
She must have seen us out the window

throwing gravel by the garage.
What else could explain the cloth
and piles of silverware, all splayed
across the uncovered table?

Everything is tarnished; knives
and forks, the spoons we use to serve,
our faces when given the job,
our hands blackened by metal blood.

I just have one quick thing to mention; the personification of "instincts" is distracting. What do instincts look like anyway? Everything else seems pretty well put.

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Last year? This thing is older news than the serge-goes-french debacle.