Struggling, I Swim.

[milo]

I swim,
through her coldness
my wish; wash me clean.
My conscience, too.
Sorrow illuminated,
by the dwindling evening sun.

I've never wanted to hide
her destructive power
doesn't phase me.
To lose me, is to lose her strength.
Grief, is the anguish that sways
the rippling waters to my touch.

Breathing heavily,
wading through her
for a moment of clarity
I thought I'd escape
for a little while.
Drink
and sing
to drown him out.

Not here,
no.
Here, it is worse.
The screams are louder.
They're the restlessness
her stillness conceals.

Remembering her jagged edge,
rigid
and cruel.
Gripping my shoulders,
and pulling me under
forcing me into the cliff face
tearing my body to bloody ribbons.
pulled free to air
and ripped into the cold again.

Her,
were she to kiss me again,
to have another taste
without doubt, she'd bleed me dry

honestly, I find this poem a mess. The lines are a disaster, abstraction (and pointless, incohesive abstraction) is just littered everywhere. If that were not enough, there is cliche, over contrivance, grammar errors, faux-poetics, etc. It is a chore to read through it.

My suggestion would be to figure out what you really want to communicate with this first, state it as simply as possible and then build your imagery around that using as little abstraction as possible.

Thanks for posting.