Simon in the Land of Chalk Outlines (Revision 3)

[tigrflye]

Revision 2

The lines would shiver as they grew;
this dark slate world sublime,
because the things I draw come true.

One time, I sketched a girl I knew
with hands of silken mime.I don't understand silken mime
The lines would shiver as they grew.
Passion spent, I withdrew.because the rest is in iambs..and I believe passion is a trochee. PASHun. This line makes me slow down. Doesn't bother me really, I like this line if you wanted the iamb..maybe "my passion spent, withdrew"
There was no ladder left to climb.[/i]

The things I draw come true.
I began one, then she drew two:
a people touched by grime.

The lines would shiver as they grew
prostrate now, worship due
amidst the chants, the bells that chime.
The things I draw come true.

So, on this slate, I start anew
erasing details of my crime.
The lines would shiver when they grew,
the things I draw come true.love these last lines

I have liked this poem since I read it in a chess playing thread. You posted it on my birthday! It is a pretty thing to read. Like a sing song chant and I love the way it sounds. I don't understand all of it and I never saw the show (I googled it though)
I do get that the things he draws on the chalk board come true. He drew a girl.. had some fun..erased his crime. I don't understand why he is face down, worshipping amidst the chants and bells. Was the fun that good?